After an intense bidding war, The Conservative Woman has acquired the publication rights to the Greta Thunberg Diaries. Ms. Thunberg says the proceeds will go to environmental charities. This excerpt is translated by John Ellwood.
Monday
Raining. Never has it rained like this. Mr. Erickson next door is still using his diesel car. Curses on him! Ten minutes late for school. The electric bus ran out of fuel.
At lunch Nasty Naomi Seibt put a slug in my lettuce. She is jealous. My cake sank in domestic science. Fed it to birds. John Kerry called. He wants to meet tomorrow at lunchtime. Vegan pickled herring for dinner. Watched TV. No text from Bengt 🙁
Tuesday
Very windy possibly a hurricane. Saw big clouds of carbon dioxide coming from Erickson’s Volvo. ‘You have ruined my future,’ I shouted through bedroom window. He pretended not to hear. Fifteen minutes late for school. An electric car had caught fire.
Detention 🙁 Not fair. I rang the Pope who said he could not help but would pray. Met John Kerry at lunch. Tall men with guns took photos, they asked me to look more sad. Mr. Kerry promised big changes in USA and said the new President would call. He left to fly to USA via Tokyo and Cape Town. Naomi Seibt stole my pencil sharpener. Bengt was in detention with me. I think he smiled:) Vegan meatballs for tea. Birds did not eat my cake. Read ‘Famous Five Save a Sparrow’. Smiley text from Bengt. Happy.
Wednesday
Sunny. Never has there been so much sunshine. Papa told me not to shout at Erickson as he has gun. Bus on time. Rang Boris Johnson at break. He passed me to someone called Carrie. She agreed to ban all coal mining. Underbar! She wants to meet me in Glasgow for big meeting. I look forward to being in England again. I may swim there.
Got a D- for Environmental Science exam. Better than last time. At lunch phoned President Xi to tell him humanity is at a crossroads and to stop using coal. He hung up. Curses! Said ‘Hi’ to Bengt. He said ‘Hi’. Followed home by two Chinese men in big black car. Carrots and white cabbage for dinner. Bengt sent funny cat video. 🙂 🙂 V happy
Thursday
Snow. It has never snowed like this before. Bus stuck in snow. Twenty minutes late for school. Another detention. Phoned Dalai Lama, he said he could not help but would meditate. My cinnamon buns were very hard. Ms. Olsson said they could be used for building. Bill Gates called at lunchtime just as I saw Bengt and Nasty Naomi talking. Curses! Gates said nanoparticle research going well and soon will be in vaccines. Horrid Naomi Seibt put icicles in my shorts at netball.
I phoned President Modi at break. Told him he is stealing my future, and India must not use coal. He cut me off. Curses! Followed home by two Chinese men and now two Indian men. Mr. Erickson came out with his gun and told them to go away. Vegan herring for dinner. Nothing from Bengt. Sad.
Friday
Hot. Never has it been this hot. Skolstrejk Day. I walked to school gates with sign. Not many press so went home. Text from Bengt ‘Meet tomorrow at ABBA Museum’. V happy. President Biden called at lunch. He said he loved me in Anna Karenina, hoped I wasn’t too lonely, and that I should do some more movies. He then said I should speak with Somalia Paris. Spoke to Vice President. We agreed on ways to save the planet. Underbar!
Bored, watched some Attenborough films but fell asleep. In evening rang President Putin to tell him Arctic was on fire. He laughed. Vegan meatballs again. Can’t wait for tomorrow. Now three cars outside. New one has two Slavic men.
Saturday
Mild. It has never ever been so mild! In morning I made more cinnamon buns, burnt them. Mother threw them at the fox. I met Bengt at museum. We saw nice costumes and heard silly songs. He bought me a nut bar and an almond latte decaf. We talked about school. He said Naomi Siebt was ‘cute’. I said ‘How dare you!’ and left without finishing my latte. I took the nuts. Rats and double curses!!
Cried when got home. Mother said the fox didn’t eat my buns. V V bad day. Three cars with men outside again.
Sunday
Fog, thickest it’s ever been. Papa says I have won the Montenegro Prize for Effort. He is writing my acceptance speech. Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize again. Three cars outside. Mr. Erickson went out with gun.
Environmental Science homework about clouds, white ones are not floating snow. Black ones carry rain! Texted Bengt: ‘You have stolen my future’. Mrs. Erickson came round, said Mr. E is missing. Mother’s special vegan casserole for dinner. Yuk! Normal week.
Read more at Conservative Woman
I don’t donate to these Eco-Freak groups anymore and wont ever buy or even taste Ben & Jerry Ice Cream their supporters of these Eco-Freak Groups
There is a lot here but a few things caught my attention. Greta is attempting to tell the world what they must do on environmental matters. Yet she “Got a D- for Environmental Science exam. Better than last time.”
Her own experience does not speak well for converting to electric. “Ten minutes late for school. The electric bus ran out of fuel.” Also, “Fifteen minutes late for school. An electric car had caught fire.”
Hmmm.
I take it everyone here understands the “Greta Thunberg Diaries” are purely a parody(?). The whole thing is a mockery of Thunberg’s state of mind.
But, given that she suffers with a psychological disability – Asperger’s – and should never have been pushed into the public spotlight in the way she has been, publishing material designed to make her a laughing stock is simply adding to the cruel injustice that’s already been done to her.
It’s not her fault she imagines the world is dying from “manmade climate change”. That particular deception has been practised on at least two generations of schoolchildren, numbering in the millions.
I take this as mocking the weird notions that alarmists in general, not just Thunberg, proclaim. She’s just an unfortunate (and flagrant) exemplar of the nuttiness and serves admirably as a vehicle for illustrating the nuttiness.
Yes, reading this creates that impression, a parody.
Becomes obvious when it suggests she telephones all the country leaders. 🙂
Unfortunately, Greta is a product of climate alarmism, programmed to spread the false narrative, just like her alarmist friends … https://newtube.app/user/RAOB/I97sm2D
‘Mild. Never has it been so mild’
Hilarious!
Thunberg and Hogg are examples of the Propaganda/Indoctrination going on in the Schools today
This girl is a psychopath. If Bengt would just bang her once…
But who would blame him? I wouldn’t.
Never has it been so mild! LMFAO! I am weak..
Dec 2, 2020 Greta Thunberg Gets WRECKED on Twitter after Trying to Tell People How to Run their Lives
Hank Berrein from The Daily Wire reports, On Friday, teenage environmental activist Greta Thunberg issued a warning and directive to shoppers on Black Friday, the biggest shopping day of the calendar: “Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.”
https://youtu.be/HPKz4MqrqbU
3rd October 2019, FAMILY VALUES Greta Thunberg’s parents – who are the climate activist’s family and what have they said?
CLIMATE change activist Greta Thunberg is now a familiar face known around the world. But while the teenager has hit the headlines who are her parents and what are their beliefs?
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10059484/greta-thunberg-parents-malena-ernman-svante/amp/
Greta has a disease called Asperger’s Syndrome and the far left libtards put her in a tough spot as she is not able to reason with people who disagree with her. By the way, CO2 HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH WARMING AS IT IS A HEAVIER THAN AIR GAS AND THEREFORE CAN’T BE A GREENHOUSE GAS. THAT IS WHY THEY PUT IT IN FIRE EXTINGUISHERS PRECISELY BECAUSE IT SINKS TO THE GROUND AND SMOTHERS THE FIRE FROM OXYGEN
While true that it sinks when in a concentrated form (especially when cold, such as coming out of a fire extinguisher), it is capable of mixing in the atmosphere. That’s why its atmospheric concentration can be measured at the Mauna Loa Observatory, for example.
The term “greenhouse gas” should really be “atmospheric gas”, since the claimed Greenhouse Effect is bogus.