Environmentalists have a lot of great ideas for saving the planet. Instead of eating cows and chickens, people should start eating bugs and maggots and worms.
Instead of driving cars powered by gasoline, we should drive cars powered by electricity. Electricity that, um… just gets generated on its own, apparently?
Anyway, unless we want the planet to die, we should all live like 12th-century peasants while the celebrities and politicians who keep scolding us are flying around in their private jets and doing whatever they want because they’re better than us.
But now there’s a preventative measure that all of us can abide by. Now there’s something we could all do. Or should I say… something we could not ‘doo’!
Get a load of this $#!+. AFP:
Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro suggested Friday that people “poop every other day” as a way to save the environment, after he came under fire for a surge in deforestation of the Amazon since he came to power…
“It’s enough to eat a little less. You talk about environmental pollution. It’s enough to poop every other day. That will be better for the whole world,” said Bolsonaro, who earlier this month sacked the head of a government agency that had reported a major increase in Amazon deforestation.
If you give a crap, it’s time to start taking fewer craps.
I wouldn’t normally share this sort of thing with you, Dear Reader, but I’m ashamed to admit that I did poop today. Twice, actually, because I thought I was done but then about 10 minutes later I realized I wasn’t. I’m part of the problem.
There must be a practical solution to this. There’s gotta be a way to wipe this problem out. Holding it in can work for a while, but eventually, you’re going to end up being memorable for reasons you don’t really want.
It’s no fun having the whole office call you “Brownie” and “Nuggets” and “Mr. Pooped His Pants in the Break Room.” Believe me, I know.
You can buy carbon credits to offset your carbon footprint or whatever. I don’t know how that whole thing works, but it makes rich people feel less guilty.
Maybe somebody could start selling poop credits or something. If you can offset your greenhouse gases, you should be able to offset your other various gases. Call ’em offal offsets.
I mean… what else are you guano do?
Read more at PJ Media
Sure, that cover photo of Bolsonaro should give everybody a clear sense of what it’s like to hold on for 48 hours between each BM. I have a better idea: instead of popping just once every 48 hours, go ahead and go once each day, but just do it at half the mass. Is there any wondering who’s full of you-know-what?
If scary global warming is your religion well so be it . But if u are a true believer and not some Hollywood model boinker why not dress in a hemp robe and eat nothing but tofu and bean sprouts ? Is that too much to ask a real planet saver ?
No flights , no runners , no shades . Absolutely nothing from fossil fuels .
Then we will at least know you aren’t the con artist you seem to be .
And please for the sake of the rest of us heathens do the planet a favor and DO NOT reproduce .
Is that a picture of the missing link ?
Poop every second ? Really ? Is that because in Brazil half the people are starving like that wonder full shit show Argentina . No wonder people can’t get out of South America fast enough . The are worried the shit police are going under seat cover .
Do government officials live in clay huts and abandoned air line cargo containers too ?
I’ll bet half the people there would be overjoyed to poop three times a week .
Brazilian toilet? 2 footprints and a hole in the floor. Why should we listen to Third World “leaders” ?
Dose that also mean using one sheet pf Toilet Paper like Sheryle Crow thinks we should use?