The End Is Nigh (So Give Us Your Money!)

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: comes the news that the doomsday countdown has been started again, and this time Planet Earth has only two years left to get its act together before it’s too late. [emphasis, links added]

The huzzerei comes from, where else, the United Nations, one of the two principal remaining relicts of World War II badly in need of immediate demolition. (The other is NATO.)

Make sure your affairs are in order, your last will and testament duly drawn and notarized, bend over, grab your ankles, and assume the crash position because here it comes:

Humanity has only two years left “to save the world” by making dramatic changes in the way it spews heat-trapping emissions and it has even less time to act to get the finances behind such a massive shift, the head of the United Nations climate agency said.

With governments of the world facing a 2025 deadline for new and stronger plans to curb carbon pollution, nearly half of the world’s populations voting in elections this year, and crucial global finance meetings later this month in Washington, United Nations executive climate secretary Simon Stiell said Wednesday he knows his warning may sound melodramatic. But he said action over the next two years is “essential.”

“We still have a chance to make greenhouse gas emissions tumble, with a new generation of national climate plans. But we need these stronger plans, now,” Stiell said in a speech at the Chatham House think tank in London. He suggested that climate action is not just for powerful people to address — in a not-so-veiled reference to the electoral calendar this year.

“Who exactly has two years to save the world? The answer is every person on this planet,” Stiell said.

This means you! Get used to it because the imminent End of the World is now an integral part of the leftist Narrative, a global racket with which to extract money from the First World and then either throw it away or put it in their own pockets.

You may have noticed that lately we’ve been inundated with fanciful horror stories about how this year, this month, this week, and this very moment is the hottest on record in the entire history of the planet, which by the way only stretches back to the 1880s, but never mind about that. We simply must do something!

Perhaps you’ve had an experience buying a car and thus now have a sense of déjà vu all over again, as Yogi Berra once said.

The salesmen have a way of applying pressure that works as both carrot and stick, stoking your lust for the vehicle with the fear that if you don’t act right now, the offer will be snatched from the table and some other sonofabitch will be stylin’ around town in your wheels tomorrow. You know:

According to the AP, “Crop-destroying droughts have increased the need for bolder action to curb emissions and help farmers adapt which could boost food security and lessen hunger, he said. ‘Cutting fossil fuel pollution will mean better health and huge savings for governments and households alike,’ Stiell said.”

The key to the con is the deliberate linkage between droughts, which have been naturally occurring from time immemorial (ask the ancient Egyptians, if you can find any), and “fossil-fuel pollution,” which dates back to Henry Ford and his world-destroying motor cars.

The “global warming” and “climate change” scams have been going on since the 1970s, and what’s remarkable about them is they always have the same villain.

Call it fossil fuel, oil and gas, or carbon emissions, it is the sole cause of incipient misery, and the only possible explanation for the newly discovered threat of “climate change.”

Which also, come to think of it, has been ongoing forever and has little or nothing to do with human activity.

But self-hatred is a hallmark of the suicide cult known as the international Left, bastard children of Karl Marx and Rachel Carson, who preach the doctrine of Critical Theory and are determined to convince you of the urgency of their message by parting you from your money.

Levels of carbon dioxide and methane in the air last year hit all-time highs, according to United States government calculations, while scientists calculate that the world’s carbon dioxide emissions jumped 1.1%. Last year was the hottest year on record by far, global temperature monitoring groups concluded.

To which the only proper response is: so what?

Having posited the counter-factual that CO2 (essential to life, by the way) is bad and that marginally warmer temperatures are in and of themselves inimical, the Klimate Kult insists that you share in their insanity and therefore will jump off the same conclusion cliff to indulge their ruinous fantasy.

If emissions of carbon dioxide and methane from burning of coal, oil and natural gas continue to rise or don’t start a sharp decline, Stiell said it “will further entrench the gross inequalities between the world’s richest and poorest countries and communities” that are being worsened by climate change.

Stiell’s speech comes just ahead of meetings of The World Bank and other big multinational development institutions, where poorer nations, led by Barbados Prime Minister Mia Mottley and Kenyan President William Ruto, are pushing for major reforms in the systems that loan money to poor nations, especially those hit by climate-related disasters.

And there it is — money, which is the root of this particular evil. Your money or your life, as the old-timey bandits used to say.

No one ever went broke underestimating the avariciousness, and viciousness, of his fellow man, especially those admonishing penitents coming to us in sackcloth and ashes as they board their private jets for Davos and say this time we really mean it as they bust out the champagne and oysters, on the theory that if you gotta go, you might as well go in style and let the rubes and suckers pay for it.

Read more at The Pipeline