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Saint Greta Speaks: ‘If We Don’t Change, We Are F***ed’

by Liam Brooks
May 26, 2021, 7:28 AM
in News and Opinion
Reading Time: 2 mins read
A A
14

saint greta votive candleTeen climate zealot Greta Thunberg raised some eyebrows last week when she tossed an f-bomb in a video she posted Saturday to commemorate the International Day of Biological Diversity. (Something I’ve admittedly never heard of.)

“Our relationship with nature is broken,” Saint Greta flatly stated. “But relationships can change. If we don’t change, we are f***ed.”

Primarily known for her astounding expertise on climate change and fossil fuels, the 18-year-old Swedish activist has expanded her wealth of knowledge to include medicine, agriculture, and forestry.

“Millions have died from COVID-19, Zika, Ebola, West Nile Fever, SARS, MERS,” Saint Great advised.

“Up to 75% of all new diseases come from other animals. Because of the way we farm and treat nature, cutting down forests, and destroying habitats, we are creating the perfect conditions for diseases to spill over from one animal to another and to us. The next pandemic could be much, much worse. But we can change.”

But Saint Greta didn’t stop there. She also displayed her expertise in nutritional science, issuing an edict on how her subjects should eat.

According to Greta, switching to a plant-based diet could save up to eight billion tons of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere annually.

Add that to the total elimination of the fossil fuel industry, her long-stated primary goal, and all living beings may not be totally extinct by 2030.

Pretty impressive for someone with a ninth-grade education, Asperger’s Syndrome, clinical depression, OCD, and selective mutism.

Makes me somewhat ashamed of my college diploma, a worthless piece of paper that can’t even protect me from my inherent whiteness, let alone the destruction I cause with every bite of filet mignon!

Thank God for the likes of Saint Greta Thunberg, whose profound intellect helps protect fools like me from ourselves!

While Greta’s profanity is viewed negatively by certain members of the Great Unwashed, the truly enlightened understand where she’s coming from.

After all, with the entire planet facing imminent collapse, the ignorant masses — you know, capitalists, conservatives, climate change deniers, Trump supporters, racists, people who eat meat and drive gas-powered vehicles, etc., etc., etc. — sometimes need to be slapped in the face to get a true dose of reality.

And who better to prescribe that essential medication than Greta Thunberg, Patron Saint of the Hysterical Left.

If we’d come to our collective senses and follow Saint Greta’s simple formula for positive change, we can avoid certain disaster and truly live in a utopia!

Imagine yourself and your loved ones gathering berries and nuts and returning to your grass hut, and… gathering berries and nuts and returning to your grass hut.

Read more at American Thinker

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Comments 14

  1. Colin Harkin says:
    4 years ago

    Liam, this is a very clever article. Well done.
    I admit, this 18 year old is much smarter, wiser and generally more deserving than me at a disgustingly old 72… I should be dead already and not contributing to whatever I’m doing wrong… breathing included?
    Her parents have a lot to answer for. They are not parents. They are exploiters and users.
    If their daughter’s illnesses are factual, that makes them much worse.

    Reply
  2. Jason C says:
    4 years ago

    Dear Ms Pottymouth Greta, when I was in school, the “science” said plants need carbon dioxide to grow and discharge oxygen for us. Is it different in your country?

    Reply
  3. Tom says:
    4 years ago

    Who?

    Reply
  4. Chaamjamal says:
    4 years ago

    “Our relationship with nature is broken”
    Climate change is not an environmental issue. It is caused by fossil fuels that meet all EPA requirements.
    https://tambonthongchai.com/2021/05/27/the-biden-the-epa/

    Reply
  5. Boxorox says:
    4 years ago

    I’m allergic to most nuts and really only like strawberries and blueberries. What a nasty life it is that awaits me on Planet Greta!

    Reply
  6. David Lewis says:
    4 years ago

    Greta says that diseases are coming from animals. This is nothing new. Small pox, once a very deadly disease, came from cattle. The prevailing theory is measles did as well. The bubonic plague uses rodents as its reservoir hosts. It is all too typical of climate activists to point to something that has been happening for a very long time, and blame climate change.

    Reply
  7. Sonnyhill says:
    4 years ago

    Greta is a media creation. Like many celebrities, she knows diddly. Her parents have been using her as their megaphone.
    As Amirlach says, they’re trying to keep her in the news, all the while looking desperate for attention.

    Reply
  8. Spurwing Plover says:
    4 years ago

    Sounds like St Greta needs to have her mouth washed out with soap So much for Time Magazines Person of the Year she is now using Potty talk and toilet language that would get ones mouth washed out

    Reply
  9. Gumnut says:
    4 years ago

    Imagine yourself and your loved ones gathering berries and nuts and returning to your grass hut, and…

    Eating the grass hut when the berries run out.

    All thanks to denying farmers the use of fossil fuels such as diesel.

    Thank you St Greta of the Famines to Come.

    Reply
  10. Shoki Kaneda says:
    4 years ago

    Ironic that she raise the subject of copulation, something this little harridan is unlikely to experience.

    Reply
  11. John Shewchuk says:
    4 years ago

    Greta needs re-education … https://newtube.app/user/RAOB/J6u8LCx

    Reply
  12. GERARD MENY says:
    4 years ago

    Is Michael Mann Greta’s father and Dr Fauci’s grand father? a great family of scientist

    Reply
  13. amirlach says:
    4 years ago

    I think that if we don’t change and we won’t, she’s the who is Effed. She’s jumping all over the map into every alarmist wealth redistribution cause in an inceasingly desperate attempt to stay relevant in a 60 second news cycle.

    Reply
    • GERARD MENY says:
      4 years ago

      Today the climat is safe, the GIEC is loosing the North and Greta panics

      Reply

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