Before Approving The Iran Deal, Think Of The Climate

Iranian Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad ZarifIranian Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad ZarifAfter watching President Obama’s televised defense of the Iran deal, I only have one thing to say: think of the carbon emissions, Mr. President.

Obama warns that rejecting the deal will mean war with Iran. Rejection of this deal by Republicans will ensure that Iran gets its hands on nuclear weapons, Mr. Obama warns. All of these scenarios sound terrifying, but want to know what’s scarier than war with a nuclear Iran?

Global warming. That’s right, global warming is the real threat, and Obama is ignoring how the Iran deal he’s backing will only exacerbate the most pressing crisis facing mankind. Obama’s Iran deal is hypocritical and more dangerous.

How can this be? Well, Obama’s deal will ease economic sanctions against the country that have been keeping Iranian oil off international markets. Without sanctions, Iran could put more than one million barrels of oil per day up for sale in a month — it’s a ticking “carbon bomb”!

Can you even imagine what one million more barrels of oil per day will do to the climate? If you think it’s chaotic now, wait until Iran gets its way. Iran has enough oil to put 157 million metric tons of carbon dioxide into the air, causing more climate chaos. Do you even know how many trips around the world in air force that is? Obama would have to fly around the world 129,516 times to emit that much CO2.

Don’t get me wrong, war with Iran would be bad, but how much worse would it be for New York City to be under 10 feet of water? Does Obama even care about how many great boutique restaurants will be lost? Where will people go for brunch? Think of all the lost and displaced Democratic voters!

Remember Superstorm Sandy? I do, and I don’t want my children or grandchildren to have to worry about Megastorm Sandy, or maybe even Ultratyphoon Obama. Think of all the dollars in federally-subsidized coastal mansions that’ll be lost to such a storm, and all the Manhattanites who will be forced to vacation in Maine and not Long Island or Cape Cod because they’ll be under water.

That’s why I’m imploring Obama and Congress to come together and reject this Iran deal. It’s only going to cause more climate chaos and endanger our way of life. Spewing more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere will only hurt the U.S. and endanger our national security more than a nuclear Iran.

A nuclear Iran is only a temporary threat, global warming is forever.


Comments (3)

  • Avatar

    Al Shelton


    Let’s get one thing straight. CO2 does NOT cause global warming/climate change.
    There is no empirical evidence that it does.
    The GHG Theory has been debunked.
    More CO2 is a boon to mankind by increasing crop yields and forests.
    I ask you Scoops, to give me the proof that CO2 causes Global Warming. AND computer models are not proof.

    • Avatar



      I think this article was satirical in nature and supporting the general belief in this site (else it wouldn’t get published here in the first place).

      I’m sure it’s pointless, but I’ll say it. You can’t just dismiss something without reason, and then ask for proof of it, and then discount any would be proof as insufficient. It’s like asking an almighty god if he can make a rock he can’t lift.

  • Avatar



    Iran is in step demographic decline. Unless they chart a new course by tossing out the extremist leadership, they have only a couple decades left.

    Instead of flooding into western nations in a vain attempt to “invade” us. The Muslim world should take a look in the mirror and figure out why they are failing. Hint: It’s not because of Jews or Christians.

Comments are closed